Acceptance vs. Closure

Though it would seem that there is no difference from the two, there is that boundary which determines how you actually deal with Acceptance and Closure. You may not notice it but there are some situations or events that even after so many years you can’t just seem to let go off or forget, despite you having accepted the outcome already.

Of course the unforgettable positive events should really be kept, what I am pertaining to are those that seem to not let us move forward or have kept creeping back from the grave.

So what is the difference? How do you deal with it? Should these really be forgotten if by some force of nature or destiny it keeps coming back?

There are so many situations in our daily lives that fall under this topic. As simple as making the wrong choice in ordering that cup of coffee, so you have to accept the fact that you made that choice and now you have to finish your drink. But Acceptance may not seem enough; you so much hated making that choice that the only way to forget it is to order a different blend of coffee for you to be totally satisfied. Only then you may possibly say that you have Closure and get on with your day.
Let’s look at another situation. And let’s use Basketball as an example.

The whole world pretty much knows Lebron James and how his “Decision” to bring his talents to Miami made him probably the most hated athlete today. In my opinion and theoretically speaking, if I were LBJ, I have already accepted the fact that I already made that decision to leave Cleveland and there is no way I can remove that bad guy image and I came here to play and win. There is your Acceptance. But can he ever have any Closure in the case? Unfortunately for him, there will be no closure. No matter how many times he wins the championship with Miami, there will always be that fact that he never won even one championship in Cleveland.

And here is another common situation that we even see in the movies often.

Love. (I tell you, that arrow-shooting Cupid can be a back-stabbing, sneaky little……Angel)

Here is Adam who falls in love with Eve. But Eve leaves Adam because she is scared to totally fall for Adam. Adam falls for another girl. Years later Eve comes back and shows her affection to Adam, and since Adam has not forgotten about Eve, they get together again. But not for long; Eve leaves again for fear that she will get hurt if she falls in love. Adam tried reaching out to Eve but she totally closed her doors on Adam and is never heard from again. Adam is now tormented but has already accepted the fact that he will never get to see Eve again. So, will Adam have closure?

In these three examples, you can gauge which situations can clearly have full Closure, no Closure at all, and the “time will tell” type of Closure. Time will tell, because even after Acceptance, no matter how deep you dig that hole and try to bury it, the fact that it’s considered as unfinished business, there may never be Closure.

“Acceptance is not totally like submission; it is acknowledging the facts of a situation. Then deciding on what you're going to do about it.”

“Closure, simply put is like a knife stabbed at your back, and only when that knife is pulled out, and then you will have closure.”