The Art of Communication

We live in an age where it is so easy to get in touch with anyone, even those who we haven't seen or heard from in years. Mobile Cellular phones, Social Networks, Blackberry, any many other electronic gadgets of our generation that evolves so fast, you tend to upgrade every few months. You are constantly updated on the lives of your friends through, "shout outs", "twitter updates", and you feel as if you are actually sharing the moment with them.

It makes you wonder how we did things 10, 15 or 20 years ago. Was Communication simpler during those times or has technology really made you connect to other people? But I will not focus on the technology or means in which we convey these messages. I would like to share with you how the elements of actual Communication affects our lives.

In most occasions, Communication is our way of expressing our feelings or sharing our thoughts and insights, we use this as our way to "get the message across" or to ensure that both parties have an understanding of the situation. It is so much easier to get things in perspective as long as there is that open line to share the details and in some conversations it ignites debates, or you tend to make adjustments or compromise to a particular situation. You are able to review the Pros and Cons, and make a worthy decision that would be beneficial to both, if necessary.

So what happens if the communication lines are cut? Has there even been a situation wherein you tried all means of communication but failed to make any contact?

Let's take a simple example that I am sure all of you might have experienced already. The Lover's Quarrel.

Elderly wisdom always speaks of things such as, "you never go to bed without being able to say good night to your partner after having a fight. You should always make sure that at the end of the day, things have been sorted out." Communication has to be a two-way street, its as simple as that. She listens to what you have to say and you have to listen to what she has in her mind as well. (That is right ladies, you have to tell us men what is on your mind. Don't get me wrong on this and I am not stereotyping, but a lot women tend to keep things to themselves, and us guys tend to become psychics or mind readers trying to guess what we did wrong) Both must have that open line in consideration of the other's attempt to make amends. Again, it puts things into a clearer perspective and helps both understand what happened, what went wrong, and to set things right.

But what if the other party wishes not to open that line? Does not want to make any amends? They chose to simply put an end to things and leave it as it is. And as most sayings go...you are left in the dark, you feel like you are drowning, stabbed in the heart, left for dead. Initial reaction...OMG WTF!!! (Oh My God, What The F%*!) Did that just happen?? Secondary reaction...Don't be a coward and face me!!
Post Mortem...you are tormented for as long as you can imagine, thinking what, how and why it happened. Coward? That would be a thought if faced with this situation, people not opening their Communication lines to us. But have we ever thought that the other party is doing a huge sacrifice by cutting us out, because it's for the best? Can you imagine what they are going through as well by trying to gather their strength and holding back? I guess some lines are best left closed.

In one of my posts I mentioned that no matter how hard you bang on their doors even if you try bulldozing it, no matter how subtle or brash your approach may be, if the one on the other side does not freely open their doors to you, you can't do anything about it. We just have to accept it even if we don't understand why it happened that way. So for those of you who have barred doors, kudos for having the strength to do so. For those of you who keep banging on those doors, you're either one of the following, persevering and wise, or stubborn and stupid.

"For me, Communication has to be transparent, truthful, open to feedback and without prejudice. We always know but often understand that some lines are lost, meant to be broken or closed. Maybe we just have to give it time for us to be able to reestablish those lines. It may be soon or it may be never, just keep yours open and probably the answer will come."