Circle of Friends

When one goes through a rough time, more often than not we seek help from others. It is not a shame to run to someone in times of need or comfort, we are only human. One can only bear the burden so much and a friend who is willing to help can lighten the load.

I have been working in Human Resources for the past 7 and a half years, focusing on employee relations, case management, training and performance management. A substantial portion of my work is dealing with employees' problems, grievances and concerns. It may sound routinary...(who am I kidding, it is routinary) so I tried to add a personal touch to my interactions. Employees are not robots. They have feelings and emotions. I have worked hard in building that reputation that I am someone who can be trusted, who you can open up to, and most importantly, someone who can be there for you when you would need advice. Of course I do draw the line somewhere and never forget that I still represent the Company, so I make sure that there is still that essence of professionalism.

(It is sometimes funny when I think about my job. Everyday I try to solve problems of other people, but at the end of some days, I am completely stumped and can't figure out MY own problems.)

When you are not in a working environment, it is quite different There are no apprehensions or inhibitions, you can say what you want, express freely what you are feeling deep inside. But do you share things to just anyone? I don't think so. (Unless you chug down a bottle of Cuervo with a chaser of Margaritas, your secrets will be headlines the next day) There is only one reason I can think of. Trust.

All of us have different circles of friends, which can sum up to the thousands. A testimonial to this would probably be the number of your Facebook or Friendster friends list. But who among them do you truly trust? All of them? 500? 250? 50? You would be surprised that when you really do the math, it may not even be more than the fingers you hold up in both your hands. This trusted circle would know your deepest, darkest, most intimate secret you may have and they would be there for you no matter what. The first group that would come to mind would be your buddies, so called best friends or "barkadas". I am sure way back in high school or college, you shared some crazy things with them. You would always be out on gimmicks and get wasted, they would back you up in a fight, loan you money, and would lend their shoulder for you to cry on. (Admit it guys, most especially during high school, this happened to us too. Cut the macho crap)

But through the years I learned that there is another circle beyond this. Those individuals who have no vested interest, no bias, and has totally nothing to gain in helping you out. They are not your "barkadas", you rarely go out with them or talk to them, but in some way, they can be your most trusted friends. No, they are not your enemies. You may be thinking about the famous line of Don Corleone of The Godfather - "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." Keeping enemies closer would be treading on dangerous waters, you have to be very careful.

Think of it this way, have you notice that whenever you would have girl or guy problems, who does your "Barkadas" take sides with? Like I said earlier, they will stick with you no matter what, through thick and thin they will back you up.

But this other "circle", they pretty much don't care because they stand neutral. Their advice could be an eye opener for you. They rely on the facts you give them, and make their analysis based on those facts. They are not blinded by the fact that they are your best friend or life long friend, because they have no vested interest in you. They tend to look at both sides of the story, so they are unbiased. Even if you share with them your deepest secret, they have nothing to gain in sharing this information to their circle of friends because they don't know you, so there is no point in sharing, so the secret, remains a secret. (But of course, Trust would still play a part here. You have to learn to keep your mouth shut to people who you don't fully trust)

In my journey through Life so far, I have been blessed to have so many good friends. No matter how long I haven't seen them or spoke to them or if I hardly spend time with them , they are just a phone call away and they ask nothing in return. For my other "circle" of friends. I don't know how to thank them for keeping me level-headed and sane.

And lastly, for me, there is no other best friend I could trust more and be happy to be with...